My Birthday

I suppose I should start the weekend of my Birthday.

September 11th my friend Paul and my 19 yr old son Shane flew in from Colorado for my birthday. Now I know what some are thinking - wtf??? Who's Paul and why is he flying in for your Birthday. Well - he's a friend. He had been helping US (ALL OF US) out for a while since we had only one income and would help us have a little extra. My "man" knew he was coming and at the time seemed ok with it. Well once again I was wrong.

They were only there for the weekend... 2 days really. They arrived really late on Friday. The 12th I did some shopping with him... mind you we had no car or car seats and ALL of us couldn't go.. but this was during the day and my 16 yr old was with. Then later we all walked to Chicago dough for dinner and then hung out at the house. The next day we had breakfast, hung out and they left... pretty uneventful.. EXCEPT my man - I suppose giving him a name would be easier so I will simply call him "A". Anyway, A was upset because he wasn't able to get me a Birthday present or pay for anything, NOW this never seemed to matter in the past and frankly it pissed me off. In the past he wasn't home for my birthday or went the day of and got me a little something but I HAVE NEVER EXPECTED OR WANTED ANYTHING MORE THAN TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM ON SPECIAL DAYS.

This was the last NORMAL weekend I have had! Shane and Paul flew out Sunday. Monday I went to work as normal.. came home and A left. He didn't come home until the next morning around 6 am... this repeated for most of the week. I went thru a week of NO SLEEP and smoking about a pack of cig's a day (if not more) because this just happened what seemed to me like all of a sudden!! We had problems in the past but I thought we had fixed them.

Again - what I get for thinking!

Well - like I said - that was my last normal weekend. Atleast for quite some time.
I guess tomorrow the fun will begin!!

For now it's 1204am and I need some sleep. Gotta job hunt (yes even on Sunday) and wonder why I haven't heard from A... hope everything is ok, you know like he's not locked up or she didn't kill him!!

Night!

Where I am now

I find myself staying at my friends house here in Colorado. Just a few months ago I never expected to actually leave Illinois but here I am! Before I go into how I got here - let me tell you about myself.

I'm 40 and once again a single mom! I have 4 wonderful kids. 3 boys (19, 16, and 4) and 1 girl (5). I HAD a good job working for the local State's Attorney's office typing files and entering reports. We weren't rich - but we weren't poor. I had my man (the two youngest kids dad), my kids and my job and potential. That's what I get for thinking!!!

Back in September I thought everything was going to be ok - sure the kids dad, who was a stay at home dad, complained that he was bored and felt like he wasn't doing enough. But I thought me telling him how much he was doing for the kids AND how much we were saving on child care was enough. WELL that's what I get for thinking!!! I had no Idea that a week after my birthday he would leave me for a PSYCHO!

So - here I am in Colorado, jobless, homeless (ok not really) BUT with a ton of possibilities. Being here is BORING... but trust me - how I got here is SOOOO not!

It took me three months to get here, and over the next few months I can't wait to share how I got here - and then what's going on...because the craziness has still not stopped.